Remembering
The previous two posts were borne out of my opportunity to face the circumstance in faith. While reading Psalm 119 and contemplating my youngest son's upcoming surgery, the words of vv. 49-50 came leaping from the page.
Remember the word to Your servant,
In which You have made me hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
That Your word has revived me.
I remembered when shortly after hearing that our youngest son had spina bifida Father impressed on me John 9. We were in shock. The next day while reading Scripture I came across John 9:3
It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
That word took me and is still taking me a long way. It gives purpose to a difficult situation. I feel a sense from Holy Spirit that this entire situation is and will be a demonstration of the covenant. Early in the pregnancy we came to the name "Canaan" because we felt he would be a demonstration of the covenant. When we found out, our thoughts were, "How can this be?" "How can this situation demonstrate the covenant?" It hasn't been clean nor easy. There is no name-it-and-claim-it here. There is a listening and walking out of our relationship with Jesus that demonstrate the benefits of the covenant. More than benefits. Benefits are the by-product of a life lived with Jesus. We all have our challenges. Some of Canaan's and our own are easy to identify.
So the melodramatic, raw emotions expressed in the previous two posts are not necessarily accurate in detail but accurately displays my emotional quandary. Emotions, however, do not reign supreme. They are a momentary snap-shot in the greater production. I will damn the emotions but cling to the truth. God has His purposes.
It could be considered ironic that my previous post before finding out about Canaan's need for surgery was on faith. I consider it providence.
Remember the word to Your servant,
In which You have made me hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
That Your word has revived me.
I remembered when shortly after hearing that our youngest son had spina bifida Father impressed on me John 9. We were in shock. The next day while reading Scripture I came across John 9:3
It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
That word took me and is still taking me a long way. It gives purpose to a difficult situation. I feel a sense from Holy Spirit that this entire situation is and will be a demonstration of the covenant. Early in the pregnancy we came to the name "Canaan" because we felt he would be a demonstration of the covenant. When we found out, our thoughts were, "How can this be?" "How can this situation demonstrate the covenant?" It hasn't been clean nor easy. There is no name-it-and-claim-it here. There is a listening and walking out of our relationship with Jesus that demonstrate the benefits of the covenant. More than benefits. Benefits are the by-product of a life lived with Jesus. We all have our challenges. Some of Canaan's and our own are easy to identify.
So the melodramatic, raw emotions expressed in the previous two posts are not necessarily accurate in detail but accurately displays my emotional quandary. Emotions, however, do not reign supreme. They are a momentary snap-shot in the greater production. I will damn the emotions but cling to the truth. God has His purposes.
It could be considered ironic that my previous post before finding out about Canaan's need for surgery was on faith. I consider it providence.
posted by brent at 11:06 AM
5 Comments:
Thank you for your testimony of faith in light of such difficult coming circumstances.
Just yesterday our little boy turned one year old. A year ago today he was having a shunt put in place to correct the hydrocephalus connected with spina bifida. Two days after that he had the mylo closed on his back. When we found out about our little boy's spina bifida, many people came forward to help and encourage us. Some gave too much information, I must confess, so I will do none of that here, unless asked to do so. But I couldn't read your post without making a comment on the faithfulness of God our Father to us in His covenant. The past year and a half hasn't been easy, as I'm sure you are experiencing already; however, I also know that as you have already testified, God is faithful. You and your family will be in my prayers. If you have any questions or want to talk personally, please feel free to let me know. Otherwise, just know that another brother and sister in Christ will be praying for you.
With much grace...
Well, now that I've read your blog a bit more, I realize that you've been living faithfully for quite some time. :) Please excuse any appearance of presumption and know that my desire was to help and give Christ's love as it has been given to me and to my family.
I'll be praying for your son's surgery.
By grace,
C
incidentally, I was a therapist, too, until my son was born. Thankfully God provided so that I could stay home with him. I have enjoyed reading some of your other posts. May the Lord bless you and your family.
Dear A,
You grace me with Your kindness. I say with the deepest appreciation that I value your prayers and thoughtfulness on behalf of my son. We have been walking this out for 5 years now. I haven't told the full story as of yet. It is kind of hard to articulate and frankly, I'm not sure what the whole story is. Father has required us to walk this out day by day in faith. I only have faith for today - no loans for tomorrow.
I know what you mean by others giving too much info. It can be like a flood so much so that I've told them that that is all we can handle right now, come back later. Then there is the speculation others give as if they are trying to figure things out - out loud - in our presence.
With that said, I am not beyond input from others so please do not hesitate to offer anything that the Lord would put on your heart. I will recieve it as from the Lord.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and comments. I am really at a loss to accurately convey my gratitude.
BTW we found the national spina bifida conferences very helpful. I can give you info if you like. We are still considering participating this summer in Louisville.
Thank you for your understanding. I think that the "day-by-day" of learning and exercising faith has slowly been sinking in with me. At first we thought, "oh, so this is how it's going to be for life." Then as therapy began and Isaiah began to grow and change and develop in some ways but not others, I thought, "oh, so THIS is how life will be." Now I think I understand (though reserve the right to correct that statement later!) that what God has given us is a daily gift to grow in our faith and trust in Him alone.
Thanks for the info about the national conference. I'm going to talk to my husband about it. As a side note, you might find this interesting...I found your blog because of my husband's blog, the satire site Tominthebox. I love how God uses things to connect His people. (what I'm about to say, please read completely!) When you wrote your own satire on his blog one day, I looked you up because I wanted to know what you generally wrote about. (and naturally, what kind of a person would write such things about my husband!) :) When I read this blog, I thought, "His comment doesn't match!" Then I was relieved to read your response to Thomas' comment to you. I'm thankful that we serve a sovereign God! I love how the body of Christ can be brought together in so many different ways.
If it's all right I'd love to be in communication with you and your wife, to learn from you about the last five years. I think that you've already emailed my husband a few times.
By God's grace,
Cristy Slawson
C,
"that what God has given us is a daily gift to grow in our faith and trust in Him alone." That is the works of God being displayed, Jn. 9.
I tend to match tone as I see it. I thought it would be obvious satire. But tone is so hard to convey through the written word.
We would be glad to fellowship regarding and be a mutual encouragement in regards to our similar challenges.
Peace.
b
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