Business as Usual
I’m good at business. By this I mean that I’m responsible, committed, dependable, and faithful. These are good qualities worth striving after, but Father wants more than a business relationship with me.
In worship during the morning service it occurred to me that I can come to “church” and sing and listen and greet and pray but still not be intimate with Father or anyone else. The action is not worship. Giving my heart is. I must give my heart first to Father then to others. He provided the way if I will but enter. He has made me acceptable in His presence and has commanded me to come with boldness or assurance. (This does not say arrogance as some define boldness.) He expects me to give Him my heart as He has given me His.
It seems an enduring theme throughout my life has been intimacy. The thing I have craven the most for as long as I can remember – my heart cry. I define intimacy as a spiritual connection that has an outworking into my mind, thoughts, emotions, will, body, and my realm. It is the river of life that flows from the thrown of God that provides healing for the nations. I believe intimacy is the heart of God. Wasn’t it His idea to create man for His fellowship and since we were created in His image, we too would need someone to connect with so He made woman. And in so doing He created the perfect illustration of life with Him. In short, I believe intimacy is giving your heart to others and receiving their heart without pretense.
I used to think that I was a pretty intimate person having a great capacity to connect with others. Then I got married. Oh, I am on the steps of kindergarten on the first day of school with a doctorate as a goal. With my wife there is no pretense. I am purely me all the time – no momentary forays into connection with others. I can turn on the computer and escape into solitude and not have to be anything for or provide emotional sustenance for anyone. I do that all the time after all, so I tell myself, and I need my own Brent-time. But what I’ve learned is my capacity for intimacy is not as great as I thought. I’ve learned that Father’s capacity is beyond measure and He wants me to develop the same capacity. I am good at having business relationships, even with my wife, but she desires more. And so do I.
I have been reading in I John and contemplating the connection between my intimacy with Father and my wife. I believe it is a perfect measure of my level of intimacy. I can think I’m being intimate with God; however, I am only as intimate with Father as I am with my wife or with others for that matter.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. I Jn 4:20
So, how can we really be intimate with Father and others? How do we grow in this capacity?
The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. I Jn 2:4-6
Simply put, it is obedience that is the pathway to intimacy. Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” (Jn 14:15) There is a strong link between obedience and abiding – connection. Obedience is a harsh word and is hard to swallow. If we obey out of obligation we will be a resistant slave. If we submit from the heart, we will be a willing son and experience the freedom that is in Christ.
Perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. I Jn. 4:18
We obey, not out of fear, but of love. There is no legalism in love but fear is full of it. Father doesn’t want to intimidate or manipulate us into loving Him. That is not intimacy. My motivation to grow in intimacy with Him is His love for me (v. 19). This is not something to guilt myself with, “If I really loved God I would obey Him.” I think a better perspective would be, “Lord, help me to realize Your love for me.” Once we have revelation of this, the other will naturally fall into place. The other is a business relationship.
In worship during the morning service it occurred to me that I can come to “church” and sing and listen and greet and pray but still not be intimate with Father or anyone else. The action is not worship. Giving my heart is. I must give my heart first to Father then to others. He provided the way if I will but enter. He has made me acceptable in His presence and has commanded me to come with boldness or assurance. (This does not say arrogance as some define boldness.) He expects me to give Him my heart as He has given me His.
It seems an enduring theme throughout my life has been intimacy. The thing I have craven the most for as long as I can remember – my heart cry. I define intimacy as a spiritual connection that has an outworking into my mind, thoughts, emotions, will, body, and my realm. It is the river of life that flows from the thrown of God that provides healing for the nations. I believe intimacy is the heart of God. Wasn’t it His idea to create man for His fellowship and since we were created in His image, we too would need someone to connect with so He made woman. And in so doing He created the perfect illustration of life with Him. In short, I believe intimacy is giving your heart to others and receiving their heart without pretense.
I used to think that I was a pretty intimate person having a great capacity to connect with others. Then I got married. Oh, I am on the steps of kindergarten on the first day of school with a doctorate as a goal. With my wife there is no pretense. I am purely me all the time – no momentary forays into connection with others. I can turn on the computer and escape into solitude and not have to be anything for or provide emotional sustenance for anyone. I do that all the time after all, so I tell myself, and I need my own Brent-time. But what I’ve learned is my capacity for intimacy is not as great as I thought. I’ve learned that Father’s capacity is beyond measure and He wants me to develop the same capacity. I am good at having business relationships, even with my wife, but she desires more. And so do I.
I have been reading in I John and contemplating the connection between my intimacy with Father and my wife. I believe it is a perfect measure of my level of intimacy. I can think I’m being intimate with God; however, I am only as intimate with Father as I am with my wife or with others for that matter.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. I Jn 4:20
So, how can we really be intimate with Father and others? How do we grow in this capacity?
The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. I Jn 2:4-6
Simply put, it is obedience that is the pathway to intimacy. Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” (Jn 14:15) There is a strong link between obedience and abiding – connection. Obedience is a harsh word and is hard to swallow. If we obey out of obligation we will be a resistant slave. If we submit from the heart, we will be a willing son and experience the freedom that is in Christ.
Perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. I Jn. 4:18
We obey, not out of fear, but of love. There is no legalism in love but fear is full of it. Father doesn’t want to intimidate or manipulate us into loving Him. That is not intimacy. My motivation to grow in intimacy with Him is His love for me (v. 19). This is not something to guilt myself with, “If I really loved God I would obey Him.” I think a better perspective would be, “Lord, help me to realize Your love for me.” Once we have revelation of this, the other will naturally fall into place. The other is a business relationship.
posted by brent at 2:43 PM
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