The Last Straw

I wondered about that meal – what he ate, what he was thinking at the time, what he was doing. I can see him sitting there in his work truck, by himself, pulling in for a quick lunch at the local Sonic in a small town. He may have had the radio on, listening to Paul Harvey or some country music station. He was probably thinking about what his crews were doing or not doing and the delivery he needed to make to them. He may have thought how he was going to collect some money from someone slow at paying their bill. He may have thought about his life and how proud he was of his kids and grandkids – his posterity. He may have been contemplating how Roy Williams bolted for North Carolina and rejected the Kansas faithful – wondering what would happen to his beloved Jayhawks. He might have been letting his mind run in the chatter of the day. I will never know. I see his rough, loving hand slide the straw in the visor, thinking perhaps he would need it in the future. I see him eating his meal in haste and then leaving to continue his work.

I loaned the truck to a friend with the stipulation to bring it back clean and filled up but to not throw away the straw that was in the visor. When I went by yesterday to see if I had left something in it I was looking for, I noticed that the straw had been used. I wasn’t angry, though I tried to muster up some anger. I wasn’t disappointed that my friend had disregarded my instructions. It wasn’t an earth shaking experience. I sat there in that seat for a few minutes thinking about Dad sitting there in that seat three years ago eating his meal and thinking. It was a feeling of melancholy and nostalgia.

Grief is a funny thing. It strikes at the oddest moments and stirs at the slightest breathe of wind. It is Father’s design to help us process life. Here, a month before the third year anniversary of his death I am still grieving with a subtle experience to assist in the loss of my dad. I believe it is impossible for us to experience the full loss all at once. Our souls can’t take the pain so it gives it to us small portions at a time until it is fully processed. I’ve had hundreds of such experiences. If we accept the process then we don’t get stuck in the past and form dysfunctional ways of looking at life.

Even as I was writing, Babe came in and asked what I was doing. As I was conveying this story, I teared up. Strange…this grief thing. I know that in reality, this is not the last straw.

The 70th Week

Several years ago I began to question some long held assumptions/beliefs that affected my worldview, specifically, in the area of eschatology. By worldview I mean the way I function in life based on the beliefs I held – how I saw my world. I had always been dissatisfied with my former way of thinking. It had no practical value. As early as high school I had written off eschatology saying that it would all work out in the end. The domino that started the great effect for me was Daniel 9 and the 70 weeks.

I did have questions about Jesus’ time statements in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I knew that the Greek is a very expressive language and the disciples asked a very specific question. Why would Jesus muddy the water by throwing a term that is rare at best to describe something? He was speaking to His disciples. They understood what He was saying. So, I was not satisfied with the scholars’ answer of “generations” and put it aside in the pile of stuff that I just don’t get. Maybe I’ll write on this sometime. This however, was not the crucial pin that held everything together. The floating 70th week was.

I am a seeker of Truth. I am a seeker of Jesus. These statements are synonymous. I don’t want to settle for the status quo. That doesn’t mean I throw everything out but I want to look at everything with fresh eyes depending on the Holy Spirit “to give insight with understanding.” My prayer and hope is that you would consider what is said, study the passages, and present it before the Lord for personal revelation. After all, revelation means Divine disclosure. The idea is that Father wants to make known. “Now we have received… the Spirit who is from God, so we may know the things freely given to us by God.” (I Cor. 2:12)

I venture on this site to speak nothing that Father is not working in me by revelation. I have opinions that I don’t hold too strongly because I know I have limited insight. Father does not have limited insight. I will endeavor to listen to Him and represent what I believe He is telling me. Can I miss it? Of course. Growth is a process of learning. I want to represent Him in the integrity of my heart. It is not for my own pat on the back. I find that growth usually comes in time, not all at once. It is a process in harmony with others. We are the body of Christ for a reason. So here is my story for you to question, critique, heckle, but most importantly to think about and allow my growth to affect yours - one way or the other. You don’t answer to me but to our Lord and the ones you are in relationship with. You are responsible for maintaining your own integrity.


I had several questions in my study.

First let me say that dispensationalists/futurists (of which I was one) require in their hermeneutics to treat Scripture literally if the text could be understood and explained from a literal standpoint. If the text can be understood in a literal sense, then it should stand on its own merit and not some other interpretation read into it. It was my literalist teaching that led me into looking closer at Daniel 9.


The gap theory?

There is no exegetical or hermeneutical principle that allows for the gap between the 69th and 70th week. The Genesis gap, you say? This was developed to combat current, secular teaching that the earth went through several stages of development that lasted millions of years. No one taught gap theory prior to Darwin. No other time prophecy has experienced a gap. The previous brake in this passage after 49 years has no gap.

The prophecy recognized the cutting off of Jesus by the Jews and therefore understood and planned for this. There was no parenthesis because the Jews rejected Jesus. It was in the prophecy. If this was in the prophecy, why wasn’t the parenthesis? Jesus alluded to this rejection in his parable of the land owner sending servants to collect rent and then sending his son who they killed. The land owner then came in force and uprooted the wretched tenets.

As far as time perspective, above all, Scripture should interpret Scripture. If the Scripture plainly puts a time frame, say 70 years, then that is what can be expected. If the Scripture says the time is far off and another place says it is near, it will be consistent in determining the time frame. It won’t mean one thing in one place and another thing in another place. I am referring to Michael telling Daniel, “Go your way, Daniel, for these words are concealed and sealed up until the time of the end.”( Dan. 12:9) And in 8:26, “The vision of the evenings and mornings which has been told is true; but keep the vision secret, for it pertains to many days in the future.” (490 years from the time of Artaxerxes’ decree to be exact.) In contrast to Revelation 22: 10, “And he said to me, ‘Do not seal up the words of the prophecy of this book, for the time is near.’”

Daniel was to have clear insight and understanding, 9:22.


My dispensationalist grandparents?

Dispensationalism was founded in 1585 by a Spanish Jesuit, Francisco Ribera (1537-1591). He was countering the protestant attack on the papacy. The Protestants were preaching that the Pope was the beast of Revelation. (We’ve been doing this a long time now, haven’t we?) This is where the first teaching of the 70th week in the future began.

And the centuries pass when a protestant, S.R. Maitland of England (1792-1866) printed Ribera’s writings in 1826 for the purpose of historical study. He produced several pamphlets in which John Nelson Darby (1800-1882) digested and reproduced throughout the Plymouth Brethren, which he founded. His writings influenced C. I. Scofield (1843-1921) who in turn produced the Scofield Bible. Scofield, in turn affected my denomination and then me. I remember when I read a pamphlet about Scofield’s false teaching. I was horrified. I rejected it for some time – years, actually. However, the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudging to look deeper softened my heart. Becoming aware of the origins of dispensationalism helped me recognize that this teaching hasn’t always been around – only around 180 years in the protestant history of the Church. That’s less than 10% of overall church history.


Confirmation of fulfilled prophecy?

There is no better apologetic than prophecy fulfilled. This confirms the validity of the Word of God. God spoke over 500 years prior to the fulfilled prophecy. It unfolded just as He said it would.

Dan. 9:24 Seventy weeks have been decreed for your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to make an end of sin, to make atonement for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal up vision and prophecy and to anoint the most holy place.

The year of the decree: 457 B.C.

Dan. 9:25 So you are to know and discern that from the issuing of a decree to restore and rebuild Jerusalem until Messiah the Prince there will be seven week and sixty-two weeks; it will be built again, with street and moat, even in times of distress.

When the decree started is a big question among scholars. Some say with Cyrus in 538 B.C. However, this would produce an 81 year mistake. Even the futurists acknowledge that the prophecy was fulfilled up to the 70th week. I don’t think they would acknowledge this as being the starting point.

Forty-nine years later: 408 B.C.

Ezra and Nehemiah fulfilled this portion of the prophecy. Even to the building of the wall in troubled times (Nehemiah 4:7 & 17).

Four hundred, thirty-four years later: A.D. 27

Jesus is baptized by John and is anointed for ministry (Luke 3:21-23). Dionysius Exiguus’ (16th century) calendar messed up the dating. It was during this approaching time that the people started looking for the Messiah. Remember the “the people were in a state of expectation and all were wondering in their hearts about John, whether he was the Christ” (Lk 3:15) and “the Jews sent to him priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’” (Jn1:19) Of all the books in the Septuagint Daniel was copied most. It seems that had a propensity for end time prophecy. After all, it was their “time of the end.”

Three and one-half years later: A.D. 30

Dan. 9:26 Then after the sixty-two weeks the Messiah will be cut off and have nothing…

This is a beautiful picture of Father God “cutting a covenant” with us. Remember v. 24 are the terms of the Covenant and v. 27 states, “He will make a firm covenant with the many for one week, but in the middle of the week he will put a stop to sacrifice and grain offering.” God is the great king making covenant with Himself on our behalf for all those who will enter in Christ. A completion of the covenant He made with Abraham when He put Abraham to sleep and made a covenant with Himself on Abraham’s behalf. (Gen. 15)

Mid-week Jesus is crucified just as it was prophesied.

Dan. 9:26 …and the people of the prince who is to come will destroy the city and the sanctuary. And its end will come with a flood; even to the end there will be war; desolations are determined.

“people” – implies an army.
“prince” – Titus was son of Vespasian, emperor of Rome. Four years prior, with the death of Galba, Vespasian went back to Rome leaving Titus in charge to finish the work and allowing for perfect accuracy of Biblical prophecy. They utterly destroyed Jerusalem in 70 A.D. like a flood. The second half of verse 27 speaks of Titus.
“desolations are determined” – This was set in motion during the 70th week. It is not required by the text to be completely fulfilled during the 70th week (same word used in 11:36, “for what has been determined must take place”). The same Hebrew word is used in verse 27 when speaking of the destruction. The final ultimate destruction occurred 34 years later with the fall of Jerusalem the harlot.

Three and one-half years later: A.D. 34

Dan. 9:27 And he will make a firm covenant with the many for one week

The covenant was established with the Jews for three and a half years prior to taking the gospel into Samaria. Shortly after the stoning of Steven the Spirit led Phillip into Samaria (Acts 8:5) and later to the Gentiles.


Context of Daniel?

Daniel was praying for revelation based on Jeremiah’s specific time prophecy that was soon approaching (Dan. 9:1-3). Michael came to Daniel by commandment of the Lord that Daniel would understand (spoken twice in v. 22 and again in v. 23 emphasizing Daniel was to understand the prophecy). This was not some vague, cloudy prophecy that was hard to understand. God spoke it and it came to pass.


References:

Seventy Weeks: The Historical Alternative by Robert Caringola
Whose Right it is: A Handbook of Covenantal Theology by Kelley Varner
Beyond the End Times by John Noe


Well, there it is. This is my first drafting so I will review in time and make corrections as needed. Feel free to critique and assist in the smoothing out process. I am open to the Lord for revelation; He may very well use you to do it. One request, please. Only present what Father has made revelation to you. I know dispensational teaching, so let’s not rehash the obvious. Start with the premise that I know where you are coming from and then let’s have an intelligent conversation. I don’t argue or debate. Dialog is my game with mutual respect. I am not attacking anyone’s character. I believe that all come to the table with a sincere heart, desiring the truth, and open to the Holy Spirit.

Peace and blessings.

True Riches

As I sat on my deck this morning praying, my thoughts turned toward friendship – brotherhood, my band of brothers, specifically. You see it’ll soon be turkey season here in MO and that means my closest friends come up from AR to hunt with me. (More specifically, I with them, they taught me how to hunt.)

When I was in high school, I felt all alone in my faith. And I felt lonely. I had friends to the level that I could experience friendship at that time in my life. But my heart yearned for more. I prayed that Father would give me a friend. So a few years later I went to college in another state and I was overwhelmingly blessed. If true friendship is a measure of a man’s wealth then I am truly a very, very rich man. Most college friendships end shortly after college when people move on with their lives. I have such “friends” but these are not so.

We call ourselves the Dogs – way before that was a popular term in the youth culture. I guess we were a head of our time. None of us had brothers (except for the one we affectionately call the Lost Dog who no longer walks with us) and we became brothers for each other. Nothing planned in our minds but looking back I can see the plan of God. We are five brothers seeking the same thing. Now, this is where it gets hard to articulate. What we have together is not glib or emotional mishmash. It is a growing substance, a living entity. I have a hard time defining friendship but I know what it is when I see it. It is faithfulness, commitment, acceptance, accountability, loyalty, brotherhood, and covenant. It is “I’ve got your back!” It is intimacy. It is peace. It is rest. I define these words in their purist form. We have laughed and cried, prayed and supported, argued and fought together. We have hurt and forgiven each other. We have wrestled and played together. We have worked and sweat together. We have held each other up when one couldn’t stand. We have grown together. We have stayed together some 20+ years. And I know where we’ll be in another 20+ years. It’s more than just familiarity with one another; it is a spiritual connection.

I had two friends recently, say, in the last six years. I gave them my heart. I loved them. One, I felt worthy to receive my heart. The other I knew couldn’t handle it but I gave him my heart anyway. I knew that Father had brought us along side each other for this purpose. Of the two, most would say the unworthy one was worthy (he said all the right things) and the other was shallow and couldn’t handle a true relationship. Well, as the story goes they both left and didn’t cherish the gift I had given them. The one, I knew this would eventually happen. The other was unexpected. The other left because my loyalty to the unworthy one. And he forfeited the riches.

So, why did I stay loyal to such an unworthy one? Because that is friendship. Now I weep for my lost friends. And often I stand at the gate for some sight of them. For I love them and long for their presence. And after all, the story isn’t over yet. But if they never return, I will still pray for them as the Spirit leads. I will still watch for them – for I am their friend. And that’s what friends do.

These Dogs – they do this and have done this for me as I for them. I am a rich man.

Paul's Prayer

I regularly pray this for other people but today I prayed it for my self.

O God of my Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,
grant to me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in experiencing Jesus. May the eyes of my heart be enlightened, so that I will understand what is the hope of Your calling, the riches of the glory of Your inheritance in the saints, and the surpassing greatness of Your power toward me as I believe.

Then I prayed:

Thank you, O God of my Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,
for granting to me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in experiencing Jesus. Thank you that my heart-eyes have been enlightened and I understand what is the hope of Your calling, the riches of the glory of Your inheritance in the saints, and surpassing greatness of Your power toward me as I believe.

If Father doesn’t give me revelation for everything, if I can’t sense His presence and assistance in walking in the prepared beforehand good works, all that I do is vanity. The truth is He has promised all of this in Christ. That’s His part of the covenant. My part is putting myself, by faith, in a position to receive. The subtle difference between the two prayers is that one is asking and the other is receiving something He has promised He would give. What’s that? Paul prayed the first way? The attitude can be the same in both prayers – either one of anticipation and expectation or one of begging and pleading. We have all we need in Christ Jesus our Lord right now.

Peace

Why I Love To Mow My Yard

The grass tenders no resistance,
As it stands tall and quiet;
I mow it and in my wake,
It lies small and silent.

The rains do come
As they always will,
To revive the broken spirit;

The grass grows tall,
Above it all,
And that to its own merit.




Well, I do declare. Not bad for a hillbilly.

Bishop

Turning at his voice, I watched the lines in his face grow slightly tense, his eyes started blinking more rapidly and a single tear flowed down his left cheek. His tone was quiet and deliberate. His affect: a forced calm. His voice sounded with the substance of a thousand battles as he told his story. The voice I’ve heard a lot over the last 13 or so years. The life I’ve witnessed. If a stranger were speaking, these words might sound trite, superficial, a way to soften the blow of grim news. Buck up, chap, everything will be ok. However, in the context of his life, his word is solid and “trite” doesn’t enter the mind.

I thought of his life as he spoke. What must he be going through having lost his mother at six, his dad at 36? What must be triggering now? I can’t even imagine the internal suffering he is experiencing. He talked of the tumor clamped onto his wife’s optic nerve and the one growing on the backside of her brain. He’s been here before. He has looked death in the face. He’s experienced this knot in his stomach. And he has turned his ear toward the Lord and has felt faith rise in his heart. He has spoken faith where no one had any. Substance and expectation based on the Word of the Lord, not a presumption on that word.

He didn’t talk of death but of possible blindness. I could barely imagine the conversation that he and his wife had with that team of doctors. I know what it’s like to tell the professionals, “I have all the information I can handle for now, thank you” as they would pour on more.

But. They stepped back. Dialed down. Listened to the Lord and spoke the truth of the situation as Father sees it. “You will make known to me the path of life.” Ps. 16:11

What touches me about this is that he lives his life by faith -- everything by faith. He takes his blows and with the wind knocked out of him believes in the Lord. I don’t think I can convey that in more simplistic terms. Whatever comes, he has the confidence that Father will be there and give him what he needs to deal with it. This is Bishop--a pattern of faith.

Covenant

Last night one of my clients was in crisis. She made a statement that riveted me into the past when I asked the same thing of someone else. “I can’t make the decision right now. You make the decision for me.” I was jolted back and in a breath my mind displayed several thoughts at once. Simultaneously, I thought of my circumstances that provoked such comment to the one I love at the same time thinking of all the negative possibilities if I answer such a question.

What is the answer to this?
What if I’m wrong?
What if she does what I say and something bad happens?
What if she does what I say and later after the emotion has died and she doesn’t like my answer she sues me? (I know… my thoughts are so deep.)

In these few seconds, I also prayed.

The mind is an amazing instrument. How can anyone, with a straight face, propose evolution?

This woman and her child have no one. Think about it. NO ONE! How can such people survive? How do they cope with life? I guess the obvious answer is: not very well. She needed someone to come along side (sound familiar?) and help her off the roof.

Not too long ago, I was on a roof. I was so overwhelmed that I could not think coherent thoughts. I turned to the one I love and said the same thing. He didn’t blink. I don’t know what went through his mind in the split second after I asked this – probably a prayer. He came along side and carried me. This is covenant.

Come to think about it, this guy pulled me off many a roof. Now that's covenant!

Looking in the Mirror

You can tell a whole lot about a man by the condition of his garden. Finnis

As I looked out over the back yard and saw the condition of my garden, these words came back to me. It’s not quite time to start planting; however, it needs a lot of work. My mind drifted to what this said about my current state of being. The words are accurate and speak volumes of truth. I didn’t know Grandpa was such an expert on projective testing and glad he’s not around to witness the embarrassing site.

I can hide the shoddiness with hard work and a lot of movement, however, the flaw is still exposed. It almost seems a part of my nature, my character. What is it that starts something but doesn’t complete it to perfection? By perfection I mean to the fullest completion – wholeness – done right. I don’t have the answer, quite yet. I see the flaw. I feel the embarrassment. But, I’m having difficulty articulating. I joke about my laziness, however, is sloth the root here? I don’t think so. The thing I know is when Father exposes something in me it isn’t very long until He starts working it out.

I live with a perpetual to-do-list in my mind that can never be attained. I run on the treadmill, going nowhere. Even as I write these words, there is an uneasiness within me that presses ahead to the next statement before fully completing my current thought. I have difficulty in the moment. I’m anxiously awaiting the next moment and missing the fullness of now. Thinking about it, the only peace I find is in my work. Maybe it is because it’s not my moment but theirs. I can be at ease in their moment – letting them have their moment and sharing it with them. I’m not at unpeace in the big picture; however, the static of my mind needs rest. My untested hypothesis is that rest/peace will come as I allow myself to be in the moment without regard for the next.

First Day of Spring

I resumed having my quiet time on the deck today. This time on the deck is such a crucial part of my sanity; how do I manage in the off season? The movement of nature…the breathing of nature…the heartbeat of nature…I just can’t describe what it is that quiets my soul. I can sit in my office and pray and read and never attain what I’m talking about with just a single hour on the deck. Even the neighbor’s mowing didn’t disturb me.

I let my mind flow out all the pent up thoughts and feelings. I’m a dog who has rapped his chain around the clothes line pole. This is Father’s way of unhooking the chain and letting me run free.

You may ask, “Wasn’t the first day of Spring March 20th?” I know…I’m a month behind. My goodness, the trees have leaves on them already! And I need to mow! I have been going at breakneck speed and have taken few days off during the last quarter. Today would have been day 10 in a stretch of work days. My quarter is littered with such stretches. Father in His wisdom commanded a Sabbath. I in my foolishness disregarded it and am paying the consequences. (I initially started typing “recommended” and quickly changed it. Let a man speak and he will reveal his heart.)

This solitude, enjoying the time with Father, is my medication. It quiets my mind and heart. It feeds me for the days challenges. How does anyone survive without such time with Father.

The Pursuit Intimacy

Here is a piece I wrote almost a year ago for my church's publication. I present it in light of my last post about intimacy. But first. . .

It seems that we focus on the negative. Benjamin's response started with the "error" of Bonhoeffer. When I was originally writing I had cropped the parts I disagreed with but afterward re-inserted it. I too was drawn to the negative. This is why I said I didn't want to parse the verbs, meaning I didn't want to break down the sentence structure to analyze what I agreed or disagreed with. I wanted to focus on the wheat and not the tares of his statement. I left the tares to address on another day.

I think when we focus on the negative we play into the insecurity of others (and our own). We actually demonstrate Bonhoeffer's point. We send the underlying message that MC brought out that you have to measure up to my expectations to be acceptable to me and therefore to God. Now, I'm not saying the tares are to be ignored. Let's just love everybody. Jesus didn't ignore tares but the question remains as to how and when the tares are to be addressed. Jesus made the point that if the tares are addressed too early, we damage the wheat. Bottom line: Only intimacy with Jesus and others can address tares properly. There are no exact steps to be taken with everybody in every situation. Jesus is our security. Too often, I try to find security in nicely packaged boxes that are useless in addressing the challenges of every day life.


The Pursuit of Intimacy

My parents hid in the garden and they taught me well. I am so skilled that I can hide in plain sight. Adam and Eve lost the ability to be intimate. Regaining this is the sanctification process that Jesus started with his journey to restore order in the universe and more specifically within my heart. It’s amazing how I fight this process. (And it is a process not an immediate accomplishment never again needing to be attended to.) Intimacy, in a way, is a dying process. I die to my self and my fears and take the risk of rejection to give my self to someone else.

I know too much to be seduced by the mirage that intimacy would happen at some other time, or with some other person, or some other circumstances, or when my children are older, or when I get to Heaven. If I do not experience/practice intimacy at the level or measure I am capable of now, it won’t happen later. I have to give all my heart now, in this moment, and I will find I will have more to give later. I must meet my wife, or my kids, or my friends, or my God where they are and give them of my self without reservation.

If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. (Luke 9:23)

Intimacy is joining Christ on the Calvary road on a daily basis. Yesterday’s manna becomes putrid and has no life. Intimacy is a journey not a destination. That phrase is over used but it is the truth. And I believe because of the way we were created, it is a journey we will forever experience in the present. More over, it is a pursuit. Something we must passionately pursue and struggle against the residue of the old nature putting it to death to gain the life that our hearts yearn for.

Today if you hear His Voice, do not harden you hearts (Heb. 3:15)

The Pious Fellowship

He who is alone with his sin, is utterly alone…. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners…. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners! Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I’ve not read much at all of Bonhoeffer. What little I know comes through class discussions in college or seminary and the PBS documentary on the hundredth year of his birth earlier this year. He was a hero, a martyr. A man who gave his life for what he believed. So I don’t know his teaching. It has pricked my interest to look further. This was a quote of a quote in a book I’ve been reading. (I hate that. Find the original info and then reference that. I’m sure my hatred is based on my laziness.)

I don’t intend to parse verbs here but there are some things I have a different bend on. First of all, the overall comment has its effect and place. The truth in it is undeniable and deserves attention some 65 years after it was first penned. I don’t have experience from the day it was written but today it completely hits the bulls-eye. The part that speaks most to me is “The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner.” Two points of view on this.

As a human, I want to first blame someone else. So, the pious fellowship is it. And they (we) are a big target, a mantle that we have earned. If I remain superficial, is that your fault? What weakness, what lack of ego-strength can I blame on you? It is only when I muster the courage to confront my weakness do I become strong. This is done in fellowship – “confess your sins to each other…so you may be healed.” (James 5:6) The tiny chick needs the struggle of forcing its way out of the shell to gain strength for living. So we to must face our fears and live in open communion with others.

Now if you’ve been burned. If others were not worthy of such honor and blinked. I can see how it would cause retreat. This has happened. However, we cannot, we must not retreat! For our sake and theirs. This is the process of growth – we must grow on. We have no other choice. Now we, secondly, as the pious fellowship, must recognize this and change. We must foster an atmosphere of openness and acceptance to assist in the aloneness of the masses. Don’t we all long for this? Is this not the craving of our heart? I need “unconditional positive regard.” There is an old song by the Bill and Gloria Gaither entitled, “I am Loved.” One of the lines:

I said if You knew You wouldn’t want me,
my scars are hidden by this face I ware.
But You said My child My scars go deeper
and it was love for you that put them there.

And the underlying message of the old Cheers intro: “I want to go to a place where everybody knows my name.”

Jesus is the unconditional lover. He totally accepts. Then something magical takes place – we are changed. We want to do the changing first and then the acceptance. Jesus doesn’t do this. He has changed my nature. I am no longer a sinner. My identity is Him. Sadly, I do sin. But I’ve found that I sin less with an understanding of my identity and the support of others who accept me unconditionally as I open myself to them. I am not alone in my sin unless I choose to be.

The Secure Father

The following is a piece I wrote for my church's publication in the Spring of '01. It was scheduled to come out Oct. '01 and the editor considered not running it then due to the circumstances our nation faced at that time. After review, she felt the Lord leading her to run it anyway.

I submit it now for my friend, Jack. His post yesterday spoke of fear and a sense of Father's lack of intervention. I appreciate his honesty. (He reminds me of the preacher in Ecclesiastes: The Preacher sought to find delightful words and to write words of truth correctly. 12:10) I haven't figured out how to do that fancy stuff where you put his name and his link is attached to it. However, here is his address: http://forgottenprophets.blogspot.com/

We all have questions. I love how secure Father is about our questions. This makes me secure. I don't always understand what is going on, but I do know His heart. Peace, Jack.

Your Friend,

Brent


Experiencing Turbulence

Turbulence is God’s way of reminding us that He is in charge.

Recently, my family and I went on vacation and during the flight home we experienced “unexpected turbulence” as the captain put it. It did not seem to phase my wife and child, but I on the other hand was gripping the armrests praying “save us, Lord; we are perishing!” and seriously thinking that I’d never fly again. Afterward, this situation made me think of my anxiety and lack of trust in Father God. If I am in His will, doing what He wants me to do, then nothing can touch me before the time. I believe that it was His plan for me to be on that plane at that time. He is in control and nothing will happen unless He allows it. If it had been His desire for me to die that night, then I have little to say about it. I think that is what disturbed me the most. I was not in control. (As if I really am in control in any other situation.) The issue was not that I might die but that I was not in control. When you get on a plane, you are at the total mercy of that machine and those operating it. If either messes up, then I’m dead. It is an act of faith. It is an act of faith to let God be in charge. It goes contrary to every fiber in my being. I want to be in control even if it is a false sense of control. We cannot really be in control anyway. God uses turbulence in our lives to remind us that He is in control. The disciples learned this in Matthew 8:23 when they experienced “unexpected turbulence” and Jesus sleeping through it. They thought that they were going to die so they woke Jesus up. Jesus first rebuked the disciples, then He rebuked the turbulence. Father used this experience in my life as He did with the disciples to expose (shake) this area of not trusting Him to be in control.

The Miracle of Dialog

I have been thinking lately about this blog thing. What is the purpose? What is my purpose? I really don’t enjoy writing. I’ve journaled, off and on, for years and rarely go back for review. I struggle to convey my spirit in the writing. I feel that I more often miss it than hit it. The blog adds a new dimension. I publish my private thoughts for open dialog and process. Obviously, the thoughts come with limitation because the format requires certain boundaries that intimate relationships afford.

So, I use this limited format to grow. My intention is not to grow as a writer, as the evidence reveals. I have read plenty of soul stirring works. My purpose is to stir my spirit and perhaps another’s. In the process of articulating my heart I find that I identify what are formerly globs of thoughts and feelings – faceless impressions. This is a difficult task for me. Oh, how I covet this ability in others. I know what I feel and think, but to give it a name is entirely a different process.

The work, then, is me. As I grow, I will be able to express that growth in a more palatable way. Blogging is the format that allows you, faithful friend, to assist me in accomplishing this. The dialog makes the difference, “as iron sharpens iron . . .” The heading, “my message (blog) was not with persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit” aptly describes the process. It is only by the Spirit’s intervention that the message (blog) is demonstrated – the Spirit working in me and you. In truth the bog is more than words. I believe dialog is a connection between people which is where the growth occurs.