The Hiding Place

We watched “The Hiding Place” last night. This is the true story about Corrie Ten Boom and her family’s experience in a Nazi concentration camp. The Ten Boom’s were Christians in the Netherlands during the Nazi occupation. They hid Jews to help them escape the country. In the process they were caught and all of them died except Corrie. This is an incredible story. I watched it as a kid (on national television, no less, back in the day of three stations).

Corrie said, "There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still" and "God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies." I remember reading or hearing her talk about meeting one of the guards that was so cruel to her and her sister. She was afraid that she would not be able to do it and be forgiving. She talked about the grace and love God placed in her heart for this woman in the moment of need and she was able to love her. These are not quaint, romantic stories of Jesus that have no substance. This woman is the substance of her testimony.

Sunday morning Craig sang the special during the service, but before he sang he spoke of some trials at work and how while pitying himself his wife told him if all the stuff he talks about is not real he might as well spend the weekends at the lake. He said Father gives us opportunities to live out our faith. It reminds me of Elijah’s plea, “If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.” (I Kings 18:21) Viktor Fankl, also a survivor of the Nazi death camps, said, “Such people forget that often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself.” (Man’s Search For Meaning, p. 93) It is only during these trials that we too become the substance of our faith.

Fishing Buddies

Two old men driving in an early 70’s Dodge with an old v-bottom boat in the back. I assume they were heading to get a bite to eat after a morning of fishing. Two old buddies. I imagined that this was one of countless mornings that they went fishing together. What bonds must have been developed over minnows and hard candy through the years? A bond only time of presence and familiarity births. I assume that they fished all morning with minimal conversation, some small talk maybe with an occasional, momentary dip in deeper waters but basking in the satisfaction of companionship. They don’t need to talk. After 50 years together what more can be said? What more needs to be said?

I regret not following them home to ask them about the catch and how the morning was. I suppose that they would visit without any consciousness of time or responsibility. They might offer me a glass of iced tea and I would graciously accept as they started cleaning the fish. They would talk about times of past adventures and probably argue over the details. An arguing that was not for the purpose of power gained but out of a natural co-joining of thoughts, like when you rework circumstances in your mind to get the details right. I would leave after a while having listened to their stories thinking as I go, “What a work of art!” Like nature itself that God has molded, carved, painted, and shaped over time into a thing of natural beauty. Agur was stunned with amazement over “the way of a man with a maid” but I find equal amazement over the interaction of two old fishing buddies.

Recently I read some research conducted about how we connect in society. One in Four people have no close friends/confidants down from 1 in 10 from 15 years ago. That means they don’t have anyone they connect with. No one! That’s hard to believe. In society today we are so busy with our lives that we forget to live. Like retirement savings, we spend all we make assuming we’ll always be able to make it. Friendship is something we can put back for a rainy day. (And be back for a rainy day for our friend.) “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

I regret I didn’t have my camera so that I could have captured this scene. After all, it was a work of art.

After reading through my rough draft, I realized I hadn’t captured what moved me about these two old fishing buddies. I guess it was the connection that I felt between them as they drove in front of me. They never turned to each other while they drove, seemingly quiet. But I just felt it, that bond. And I desired it for myself. I envied what they had – a connection that only time and consistency can produce.

I’m reminded of a conversation me and Babe had about an old lady down the street. Her kids live far away and she for the most part is confined to the house she has raised a family, lost a son and two husbands in, and now sits in the quietness with her dog. This is a woman who used to be vibrant and active and outgoing. “What changed?” we asked ourselves with the underlying thoughts that we don’t want to end up that way. Maybe she stopped reaching out to others. Maybe when her husband died she lost her fishing buddy.

Name

O LORD, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart . . . he swears to his own hurt and does not change. (Ps. 15:1-2, 4)

I read this the other day and it still is resonating in my mind. What commitment! He is committed to himself and his integrity. “I will do what I say even if it kills me,” says the man of integrity. Solid, unmovable, doing what’s right simply because it is the right thing to do. Kind of like God isn’t it. I was raised this way. My dad would take a loss if it was the right thing to do. He would say to me when I was boy, “Son, a good name is more desirable than gold.” He would argue that nothing beats a good reputation and it was difficult to reverse things once your name was tainted. He said that no one can take away your name, it’s all you really have.

A friend said, “nobody can give a heart - and live.” How profoundly true. It is a painful thing to give someone your heart. Ask Jesus? However, a good man will lay down his life for his friends. It is only through Jesus that we can become this good.

Sunday, I strained my back carrying my four year old son and his walker into the church building. I was trying to negotiate through the door and somehow twisted my back. I’ve never had any problems with my back before and now the simplest task is a major chore. It’s funny how the body works in unison. If one member suffers the whole body suffers. I think the reason the Church has little power or respect is that we don’t really grasp this and think people are dispensable, all the while not knowing that it is ourselves that we are dispensing of. And therefore, loose our name.

Isaac

I have my Isaacs where God can touch me at the core. Why does Father do this? What is He after? Why is it that He seems to gain pleasure from my pain? Is this just my perspective and will understand it at some point in the future? Abraham experienced this kind of relationship with God. His greatest fear came upon him. Father asked him to do the unthinkable, unimaginable. And he did it. He died to Isaac. What, you thought Isaac was supposed to die? That wasn’t the point. Unless you take up your cross and follow Me, you are not worthy of the kingdom. Unless you loose your life, you cannot gain it. The message of our Savior is a message of death. Sounds gruesome, doesn’t it? The yoke of Christ is the yoke of death. Easy? Only after you die.

This is theoretical-speak. How do we get down to the nitty-gritty, dirty, sweaty, bloody process of dying? It is not easy. It will take time. A long, slow, laborious death. There have been three or four times I have been touched this way. Oh, there have been several small passings but only a few significant death experiences. I really didn’t have control over it. It was not my choosing. I was lead as a sheep to the slaughter by the hand of the Shepherd.

The thing I’ve learned is that I mustn’t waste my sorrows. I must drink the grog and tip the empty cup over my head with a smile. I must listen to Holy Spirit and be submissive from my heart. I must seek out the counsel of my fathers in the faith. I must release myself to Father. I must let myself die. Then, by faith, I receive His peace and live completely free. Peace that passes understanding.

However, like physical death, it is a lonely road. Others can only go as far as the foothills. You must traverse the last leg of the journey alone. Only you can die for yourself. But you are not alone. The footprints you see are the Shepherd’s.

Truth

What are the answers for today’s difficulties? How can we know the truth? What is the right way to go? When faced with the dilemma of life, it is easy to fall back on our intellect. Intellect is safe. It gives us the “security” that bad will not befall us. However, there is no such security.

Take the Church for instance, we can compare our doctrinal statements and debate our theological perspectives. For what reason? What purpose do we hope to gain? Are we looking for answers? Are we shoring up, making tidy, our box? It seems that a lot of what goes on is for the purpose of protecting one’s self rather than spiritual growth. We make ourselves the final authority.

I believe in black and white. I’m a concrete thinker in that sense. There is no relativism. It is not a matter of opinion and we cannot both be right. There is right; and there is wrong. There is Truth.

So what is the answer and who is right? Who determines this? I believe that there is an ultimate authority in the universe. His name is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. He is real and only His opinion counts. Everything else will fail. So how do we know what He thinks? I believe it is through the Spirit and the Word that we can come to know the truth. I believe God is a real person, who can and does communicate.

Our responsibility is to submit ourselves to Him and allow Him to show us the truth through Spirit and Word. I believe that we can come into agreement if we are submitted to Him. And the truth will always come to light. But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day. (Proverbs 4:18)
He is communicating every day. Are we listening?

Business as Usual

I’m good at business. By this I mean that I’m responsible, committed, dependable, and faithful. These are good qualities worth striving after, but Father wants more than a business relationship with me.

In worship during the morning service it occurred to me that I can come to “church” and sing and listen and greet and pray but still not be intimate with Father or anyone else. The action is not worship. Giving my heart is. I must give my heart first to Father then to others. He provided the way if I will but enter. He has made me acceptable in His presence and has commanded me to come with boldness or assurance. (This does not say arrogance as some define boldness.) He expects me to give Him my heart as He has given me His.

It seems an enduring theme throughout my life has been intimacy. The thing I have craven the most for as long as I can remember – my heart cry. I define intimacy as a spiritual connection that has an outworking into my mind, thoughts, emotions, will, body, and my realm. It is the river of life that flows from the thrown of God that provides healing for the nations. I believe intimacy is the heart of God. Wasn’t it His idea to create man for His fellowship and since we were created in His image, we too would need someone to connect with so He made woman. And in so doing He created the perfect illustration of life with Him. In short, I believe intimacy is giving your heart to others and receiving their heart without pretense.

I used to think that I was a pretty intimate person having a great capacity to connect with others. Then I got married. Oh, I am on the steps of kindergarten on the first day of school with a doctorate as a goal. With my wife there is no pretense. I am purely me all the time – no momentary forays into connection with others. I can turn on the computer and escape into solitude and not have to be anything for or provide emotional sustenance for anyone. I do that all the time after all, so I tell myself, and I need my own Brent-time. But what I’ve learned is my capacity for intimacy is not as great as I thought. I’ve learned that Father’s capacity is beyond measure and He wants me to develop the same capacity. I am good at having business relationships, even with my wife, but she desires more. And so do I.

I have been reading in I John and contemplating the connection between my intimacy with Father and my wife. I believe it is a perfect measure of my level of intimacy. I can think I’m being intimate with God; however, I am only as intimate with Father as I am with my wife or with others for that matter.

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. I Jn 4:20

So, how can we really be intimate with Father and others? How do we grow in this capacity?

The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. I Jn 2:4-6

Simply put, it is obedience that is the pathway to intimacy. Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” (Jn 14:15) There is a strong link between obedience and abiding – connection. Obedience is a harsh word and is hard to swallow. If we obey out of obligation we will be a resistant slave. If we submit from the heart, we will be a willing son and experience the freedom that is in Christ.

Perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. I Jn. 4:18

We obey, not out of fear, but of love. There is no legalism in love but fear is full of it. Father doesn’t want to intimidate or manipulate us into loving Him. That is not intimacy. My motivation to grow in intimacy with Him is His love for me (v. 19). This is not something to guilt myself with, “If I really loved God I would obey Him.” I think a better perspective would be, “Lord, help me to realize Your love for me.” Once we have revelation of this, the other will naturally fall into place. The other is a business relationship.

God's Justice

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and exult in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.

And so starts Psalm 9. I have been reading a Proverb and the corresponding Psalm each morning for my morning Scripture reading. Today I got stuck in Psalm 9 in light of the news of Zarqawi’s death.

I read a lot of political information but that is not the format of this blog. I’m tempted to be sarcastic on other political blogs but refrain because that is not the spirit I want to portray. I live vicariously through Jack from Forgotten Prophets. And I couldn’t help myself on They Shoot Democrats Don’t They – a confused boy – but even there gave only a quick shot, a flesh wound.

I try to stay current with an ear toward Father. I often pray, “Help me to see things from Your perspective.”

But the Lord sits as King forever; He has established His throne for judgment, and He will judge the world in righteousness; He will execute judgment for the peoples with equity. The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble; And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. v. 7-10

Bottom line is God is in control. Injustice will be exposed and addressed. This is not wishful thinking but the Word of God. The enemy will twist their losses to recruit more Zarqawis. Islamic mothers will whisper in the ears of their children death and violence. It looks hopeless doesn’t it? How can we fight such a war? How can we win? This is a spiritual battle and it is the Lord’s. I believe we will see more victories when we understand this and give God credit. Regardless if we give Him credit or not, He will be glorified. He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to accomplish His purposes. Maybe He’s waiting for us to come around. He knows who He is and is not rattled by the slowness of justice. He moves for His sake and not for our laurels.

For He who avenges bloodshed remembers them; He does not forget the cry of the afflicted. v. 12

The Lord has made Himself known; He has executed judgment. In the work of his own hands the wicked is snared. v. 16

Arise, O Lord, do not let man prevail; let the nations be judged before You. Put them in fear, O Lord; let the nations know that they are but men. v. 19-20

The Propensity of the Flesh

I find it interesting how my flesh does everything it can to squirm out of dying. This is the ultimate end of my flesh so why does it prolong the inevitable? I am very good at not dying. Even to the extent that I will make great sacrifices in the pretense of death but avoid it in the end. Some of my greatest hardships were actually the hand of God directing me to Him. I in ignorance was rebuking the devil only to hear my Father’s voice tenderly say, “That’s Me, son.”

A friend e-mailed me the other day to disclose some issues that he has been dealing with. He has his plan to prevent relapse and that is fine and good and all; however, it is easy to offer up the sacrifice of time, plans, hard work, and determination and still not offer up the heart, keeping back a little for ourselves. Ananias and Sapphira did this and the consequence was the ultimate sacrifice. They pretended to give it all. We are a little better at self-deception than that, all the while thinking that we are doing great service, beating our chest and piously performing, “Have mercy on me, a sinner.” I am grateful that Father doesn’t make an example out of me. He tenderly, lovingly leads me along to my death. It’s all about dying in myself and living in Him. Paul said, “I die daily.” And Galatians 2:20, “ I have been crucified with Christ; and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Father orchestrates the circumstances in my life to flush out the flesh. The circumstances are just the bird dog that is pointing and waiting for the Master’s signal. In time we see our fleshliness and have a decision to give it all to the Master or keep a little back for ourselves.

I work with kids who do this all the time. However, they are in their mind giving their all. It is only with the pressure and intensity of the circumstances does the truth come to light. “The mills of God’s justice grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.” The truth always comes to the top. I don’t believe that they are intentionally trying to deceive (some of them); they are operating in the measure that they know. Through time and pressure, God reveals to a greater extent the areas of flesh that they need to sacrifice.

And such is the same for us. The truth is I do this all the time. I am grateful that the Spirit knows my heart; and even when I am deceived, He can and does reveal this to me. At that moment of revelation we have a decision to make. May Father give us the ability to make the right decision. I am excited for my friend. This is just another chapter in his life that God is taking him deeper and making him more like Christ. Peace.

Super Size Me

Last night my wife and I watched “Super Size Me.” She checked it out from the library. (What? You think I actually rent movies?) This is a movie/documentary about this guy who ate every meal at McDonald’s for 30 days. It’s rare anymore that I eat at McD’s but it will be even less now. Check it out, especially the bonus section on “The Smoking Fry.” I like this guy's sense of humor.

Grace

For several years after being apprehended by the Lord I was puzzled by grace. I had no tangible definition. I had heard that I was saved by grace apart from my works. I had heard God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. But I still didn’t know what it was.

Until…I experienced grace. I had been saved many years yet without revelation of grace. In college I had gone through some breaking experiences. That sounds too nice. Specifically, God killed me. I look back now and have had more significant death experiences but it was measurable at that time in my life. It was during this time that He gave me revelation of grace. Since that time He has expanded my understanding but grace at its root is the stuff Father gives you to get you through. He gives energy, wisdom, know how, strength, ability, and whatever is required in the moment to make it through the day and often through the hour and the minute.

Last night I took the family to “Dream Night” at the zoo. It is one night during the year that the zoo opens its doors for special needs kids and their families. They have games and treats provided by their sponsors. It has its merit for it is kind to those in need.

What struck me was seeing the special needs kids. One in particular moved me. She was a baby less than six months old who appeared to have a clubbed foot – probably a spina bifida child. I’m not sure how to identify my thoughts and feelings…pity, that’s it, pity is what I was feeling. I felt pity for the child and her parents. I remember thinking, “How are they able to manage?” The underlying thought was, “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that condition” or “I couldn’t manage with that condition.”

There was a time when I was in High School that I was stopped at a light in Joplin. A bus pulled along side of me with a boy who I had known casually on board. He waved and smiled enthusiastically. Shamefully, I turned away. I couldn’t handle that the kid was different. The shame in it all is that mentally he knew what was going on even though a speech impediment prevented him from articulating his thoughts clearly. What was I thinking? Who was handicapped here? In college the guy born with no arms yet played the guitar with his feet came to town. (I forgot his name.) I was invited but didn’t go because I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t that long ago that I wept as I watched his testimony on the Catholic channel.

So last evening while watching this family interacting I realized that others watch my family interacting and think, “I wouldn’t want to be them.” “How do they manage?” However, I don’t see it that way. I have grace for my moment. I sometimes wonder at what point will I realize that my son doesn’t walk, or that he has no bowel or bladder control? Will I wake up one day and it dawn on me that my son is different? For now I distinguish not between him and my “whole” son. I kind of like it that way. I’m ok continuing on in my dissociation because I don’t want him to think any differently of himself.

I choose to receive the grace for today and let tomorrow worry about its self. In reality this is not dissociation or denial. This is the grace of God for me in my situation. And that family I saw last night? God gives them grace for their situation as they need it.

John 1:16 For we have all received out of His fullness, even grace against grace. (My translation) The idea is for whatever the measure of our need God’s grace will meet the need in equal measure. It is a financial term such as if you went to the bank to borrow money. The banker would want you to have assets to cover the loan. God has the assets to cover whatever we face. That is the meaning of grace.