The cross was a pulpit in which Christ preached his love for the world. Augustine

Forgotten No More

I don’t watch much TV. I have replaced TV time with internet time. I like reading but the internet does not always bode well with my OCD. There are a few programs that I watch frequently but my favorite is Forgotten Prophets. The star is Jack H and he writes his daily adventures with obvious ease and skill. I covet his ability and mastery of English and sentence structure. He can say something very common in a way that hooks your mind around it and you are there.

This exercise of mine is just that an exercise. I almost flunked Freshman English in college. It’s more than sentence structure here. My exercise and purpose has been to not let seed thoughts go unplanted. My thoughts for the most part are very surface and this requires me to explore my thoughts and develop them with hopes that they will grow and become more thorough. Another motivation is that someday when I am gone I hope my children and grandchildren will read and know my heart. I suppose a deep, secret motivation is that you, dear reader, would want to read and know me, to pursue me. My writing is in code – a surface meaning with a deeper meaning underneath but you have to dig and think. If someone understood then it would somehow give me value. I’m important enough that someone gave a second look. Someone wants to know my heart. This is in reality my craving for God and need for Him to pursue me. I want to be wanted. “I want you to want me” and all that.

Anyway, this Jack H guy. I really like him. I like his heart. He has gone through some great trials and his heart has known bitterness but even in his ranting and self-pity there is an undeniable light of hope. I don’t know that he sees this for the darkness is so great right now. All his writings display this. It’s like watching a movie when you catch on as to how it will most likely end. I’ve seen it from near the beginning.

I’m not sure as to why I have been compelled to watch. I’ve read some good stuff on the web but none like him. The writing is way past superb but that isn’t it. The humor completely connects with mine but I can go many places and find sarcasm. And I don’t need to people gather those with the same political bent to feel validated. So what is it? Why do I like this program so much? It has to be his heart. For some reason I think I get it. Maybe it’s projection on my part. This guy presents himself in such a way that many could identify with him and connect. I would think this would be necessary of an author. Maybe it’s me. I feel I’m looking into a mirror when I read his pages. What a gifted writer to make me feel this way. That he could display himself in such a way that I could see my heart in spite of the differences on the surface. Thanks Jack for such a gift.

Proverbs 31 Woman

She is diligent in all she does from the moment she awakes to her last thoughts before drifting into sleep.

Her thoughts are continually toward her family intently considering all their ways.

Her hands work tirelessly to ensure the success of her household.

Her eyes are always watchful to ensure the protection and advantage of her family.

Her heart knows no exhaustion in its loving and commitment in the kindnesses it displays.

Her steadfastness and industry surpasses all others’.

Her beauty is soft and pleasant to the eyes.

Her wisdom is a shield and the foundation of our home.

Her emotional support is the very support girders of my life. Without her I would surely stop existing.

Her strength is unyielding. “Strength and dignity are clothing, and she smiles at the future.”

Her voice is strong, without hesitancy in speaking the truth. Wisdom flows from her lips.

Her spirit displays the likeness of her Father.

She is as a queen in her inner corridors, stately surveying each room.

She is perfect in all her ways, my strength, my help, my life.


I feel that this lacks passion, an intellectual exercise of thinking about my wife. This obviously is a very, very rough draft. She is the most beautiful, most caring, most industrious, most loving woman and a perfect fit for me. She completes me. I would be totally undone without her. And I feel that I am a bumbling amateur in loving her. I want to pursue her with my love as Father pursues me. It’s funny I used to think I was pretty intimate . . . with God and others. But when I got married, all my blind spots were exposed and I learned that I’m a kindergartner in the school of love.

Love has been a major theme that has run throughout my life. It is my motivation in all I do. I hate failure and love success but I frame success somehow within the confines of love. I guess it was the performance programming I received as a child. The truth is that love has little to do with performance. Yet it is intricately involved. We can’t legislate love. We can’t demand or require it. We can’t earn it yet we love because He first loved us. Love is a response to being loved. I believe we can only love because Father is love. The measure of my love toward Father directly corresponds to my love for my wife and really, the measure of my love toward all others. But nothing exposes how I really love except in my relationship with my wife. I can maintain a level of intimacy with others but still have my walls. I cannot do this with Holly. It is like the light of God’s presence that dispels all darkness. This is really, amazingly fascinating. I can look in the glass clearly and see a perfect reflection of myself, warts and all. The question remains, “Can I change or will I go away and forget what manner of man I am?” I am truly not worthy of the blessings afforded me. Father must really love me.

There

I strive to “be there” for my children everyday. When I come home tired after a long workday, I am not always there for my children. They want me there. They will clamor for my attention to get me there. And if I’m not there for them, there will be a day that they will not let me be there for them when more is on the line. I need to be there in times that I would consider insignificant if I want to be there during significant times. You may ask, “Where is there?” and “How do I get there?” Your children have the answer – ask them.

__________________________


I wrote this sometime back when I did some advertising in the monthly family addition to the local paper. It was a small add that had my picture and information with a thought. I’ve been thinking of this thought lately because my oldest son is going through a developmental shift and is changing. His ways of thinking and relating are changing and if I don’t re-relate and change with him then I’ll miss the bus and he will be gone.

It’s funny how I can sense the change and feel apprehension about what to do. Come on, this is what I do for a living. In fact, I probably wouldn’t recognize what’s going on and miss it as so many parents do if I hadn’t been trained to be aware of it.

So, what do I do? When he was younger he liked to play talking dinosaurs. I would get in the floor with him after work and sometimes before work and play with him. I didn’t particularly find this mentally stimulating. However, it was emotionally stimulating. Now he’s in to “fight time” where he pretends he knows karate and attacks me. He has to ask me to play this way too much. I need to take the initiative here because I know it’s what he likes. Recently he started focusing on tickling more. He loves to be tickled. It’s his touch. He is not as affectionate as he used to be. He doesn’t like to be held as much. But he likes the physical stimulation of tickling. Just so you know, if you didn’t already, I hate tickling. It is torturous to me. I would rather play talking dinosaurs.

Communication is so subtle that I’ve learned that if I raise my hand and pretend to be a horse and say, “Wilbur, I’m hungry! How ‘bout some corn?” He will run out of the room so I don’t tickle his leg. Then the game is over. I think I need to chase after him.

Someone said, “But for all that there are people around you, you go home and spend so much time alone.” Whether directly intended for me or not, these words were as words from Father. These are not the kisses of an enemy but the gentle wounding of a friend. We are talking about intimacy here – connection. A theme I infer throughout every post. It is written between every line. To the point, how will my son learn how to be intimate if I don’t demonstrate intimacy? How will I learn if I’m unwilling to be there?

And There Was Light

Well, the wait is over. Electricity was restored the night before last. It is amazing the toll on the body for displacement. I'm tired and feel a cold coming on. The ice is melted with only traces of snow left as well as the broken trees. There are still many in the region without electricity. For them I pray God's speed to their deliverance. In a small way I got a taste of those who suffered and are still suffering from Hurricane Katrina. This was only a miniscule portion of their suffering. Mine was an inconvenience but for some of them it was total loss. However, being touched like this has given me an experiential appreciation for the small convenience in life.

Deep Freeze

We are still without power and look to be for several more days depending on what the latest front does. Currently, we are in St. Louis for doctors appts. Hopefully we will have power at home when we return Sunday or Monday. I'm praying that the pipes don't freeze and the freezor doesn't thaw. The dry ice should keep it solid until the power returns.

We are currently displaced. We have not had power since Friday night. The roads are not too bad but there is about an inch to inch and a half of ice on the trees. Our poor maple in front looks as if someone has stepped on it. I've heard that 95% of Springfieldians were without power at some point over the last few days. It looks like a war zone with all the trees blasted up. I had to stop and move limbs out of the road so I could get home. Today we moved in with some friends from church who have graciously taken us in.

Happy birthday, Dad.

He would have been 71 years old today.

Growing

Five years ago about this time I was driving home from work thinking, “I’ve got it pretty good. I could just stay in this place.” I was referring to every level – logistically, as in job, place in life and family, and spiritually. I had a good job, a house, and a wife and son with a son on the way. I was content where I was and thought that I didn’t need to grow or move forward. I had reached the good life, the American dream.

The mental picture that came to me was of the children of Israel getting ready to cross the Jordan into Canaan – the land of covenant. Reuben, Gad, and half of Manasseh wanted to stay behind on the east side of the Jordan. They looked around and thought this land is good enough for us. As the story goes they settled there after helping their brothers establish themselves and for all practical purposes were never heard from again.

The next day I got a call from my wife that changed me. I’ve had to tell parents difficult news before. Actually just that week I told some parents the results of an IQ test that indicated their son was mildly MR. With one phone call I instantly became a better therapist. I was at work and my wife called from the doctor’s office to tell me that there was something terribly wrong with our son who was to be born in a few weeks. He had spina bifida. I knew little of what spina bifida was. Spina bifida is a birth defect of the spine with varying degrees of paralysis and possible mental handicap.

There is a host of things I could write about this but my point is that Father set me up to be comfortable so that He could reveal to me that that is not His way. He continually provides opportunities of growth and requires us to operate in faith. He will not allow us to become stagnant. He will not allow us to stay in Gilead and avoid the covenant and the resulting blessings. We are about growth which is a never ending process.

What brought this to mind is that recently I was thinking that I would like to see Father move in an apparent way in my life. So He provided me with an opportunity to walk something out in faith – something that is totally beyond me and requires me to trust in Him or fail. I am completely humbled. I know what David went through as he prostrated himself on the cold, hard floor crying out to God. He is my peace. He is faithful to protect and guide. These are not cutesy greeting card sentiments. They are life and sustenance. Please pray for me. I am determined to do the right thing regardless.

Humble of Heart

The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. Proverbs 10:8

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17

When facing constructive criticism we can listen and follow the recommendations of the one giving us wisdom or like a person who lacks sense we can become defensive, rationalize our actions, and argue our point, wanting to prove ourselves right rather than to be right. Our mouth puts our heart on display, as do our actions.

Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding. Proverbs 10:23

שׂחק שׂחוק

laughter (in merriment or defiance): - derision, laughter (-ed to scorn, -ing), mocked, sport.

The wise are exhilarated by acting wisely. The one who lacks sense enjoys scheming and seeing how much they can get away with.

The Man of God

The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad!... For You, O LORD, are most high over all the earth; You are exalted far above all gods. O you who love the LORD, hate evil! He preserves the lives of His saints; He delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Light is sown for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous, and give thanks to His holy name! Psalm 97

Years ago my dad introduced me to a man he worked with. His name was Roy Murphy. Roy taught me how to white bass fish along the boarder of Missouri and Oklahoma. He also taught me much more. He was a common man with no remarkable features physically or as a whole. His most remarkable characteristic was that he loved the Lord with all his being. I remember the time he took me to the lower level of his house, pointing to a spot and saying, “This is where I got on my knees and asked God to teach me to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates.” He was a Godly man who visited the sick and the prisoner; he took care of the poor and widows. He studied God’s Word and tried to live it the best he could.

As I was reading this passage today, Roy came to mind. He died a couple of years ago and I miss him even though we didn’t have much contact in the latter years. He stands as a monument in my mind as to what it means to be a man of God. He was simple but of astounding substance. I want to grow up and be like Roy.

Peace.

Proverbs 4 & 5

When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Proverbs 4:3-4

David started teaching Solomon at a young age. He didn’t worry if Solomon would get it or not but instructed him. We do this with our sons. My dad did it with me. I can distinctly remember Dad saying, “Those who live by the sword die by the sword. Don’t pick fights.” And, “A good name is more desirable than gold. You can never fully mend a bad reputation.” I tell my sons these things now and more. We must be attentive to their education. It is our duty a parents.


For a man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths. Proverbs 5:21

Does this sound negative? Shouldn’t this provide us great comfort? Here in Springfield within the last year the city has taken measures to use the cameras posted at intersections to catch those who run red lights. They will be sent a ticket. Modern technology is fascinating isn’t it? People have gotten upset about this. It probably is the same people that are upset about the Patriot Act. If Father sees, He is aware. If He is aware, justice will eventually rule the day. Nothing escapes His attention or His care. This is comforting because it provides security. It also gives me a sense of significance. Think about the child whose parents don’t care and don’t pay attention. They are out of control as to cry out for someone to provide boundaries and security, someone to show that they love them enough to not let them self-destruct. Father is not only watching, He’s pondering our paths. He’s giving great thought concerning our steps. So what initially may sound intimidating is really the voice of comfort.

Tap Tap Tap

Daily I type but for what reason?
I have petitioned you and for what purpose?

What do I seek?
Why do I come?

I have played a tune for you and you have not danced.
I have played a dirge for you and you have not wept.

What do I seek?
Why do I come?

Residing in my heart is a craving for connection.
I stand at the entrance of the city and call out,
“Who is noble, who is worthy come and eat!
Whoever has ears to hear and a heart to listen and
a mind to engage there is a place at my table for you.”

Why do I come?

Because I am compelled.

Tap Tap Tap

I sit here day after day and call to You.
I get morsels from Your table.

What do I seek?
Why do I come?

I long to eat Your flesh and drink Your blood.
I long to bask in Your presence, unhindered by my flesh.

What do I seek?
Why do I come?

Residing in my heart is a craving for connection.
You placed it there to draw me to You.
In all connection there is a shadow of Your image.
Do not delay in coming to me!

Why do I come?

Because I am Yours.

Proverbs 3

This chapter is so full I was tempted to copy the whole thing. It speaks of the benefits of wisdom – the life lived by wisdom. What came to mind was, “Why do we choose anything different?” I may have difficulty with delayed gratification. I may lean too much to my own understanding and not consider the advice/experience/understanding of others. I may have pride. The other thing that came to mind was not start from a zero sum balance. This means to not operate like I have nothing but to focus on the wisdom Father has given me and build on that. I have a tendency to start by focusing on the negative – what I don’t have – instead of building upon my strengths. This is a slight attitude change but can produce great dividends. With that said here are a few verses and comments.

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments v. 1

The second half of the verse initially caught my eye but after meditating on it I see the perfect compliment to the first half. This verse shows both knowing what to do and having the attitude to do it. The first half deals with the mind and the second half with the heart. Attitude is a choice. I obey from my mind but submit from my heart. I must not only know wisdom but take it to heart, that is, make it a part of me.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;. . . So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. vs. 3a-4

The NASB says, “kindness and truth.” The ASV says, “good understanding.” The GNB says, “If you do this, both God and people will be pleased with you.” And the BBE says, “So you will have grace and a good name in the eyes of God and men.” Kindness and truth will balance a person. Too much kindness and you’ll become a door mat. Truth helps set the boundaries in an appropriately assertive way. If I respond in every situation from kindness and truth others will understand where I’m coming from and respect me.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. vs. 5-6

This is one of the first passages I memorized. It is its own commentary.

It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. v. 8

The “it” is having a proper view of yourself, fearing the Lord, and turning away from evil. There is a connection between a clear conscience with a proper attitude and your health. Said another way, your mental and physical and spiritual health are linked.

I could go on. This chapter is rich. Read it for yourself and see what Father impresses you with then let me know.

Peace.

Responsibility

Years ago when I was in college (a very non-charismatic institute) Oral Roberts told the nation that God had told him that he was going to die if he didn’t raise $1,000,000 by a certain date. As the date drew near Bro. Roberts reported an extended date from God. The money was not raised at the original date and I’m unsure if it was raised at the new deadline. I could research it but frankly it’s a waste of time. I remember the ridicule he received from us young preacher boys at the time. Now this doesn’t ring solid to me. I’ve not known Father to operate like this (threatening someone to raise money or die) but He doesn’t consult me as to how he should deal in the lives of others.

As the story goes, one of the preacher boys, Tim Coble, spoke up after several days of this merriment. He said, “It’s not right that we ridicule a brother in Christ. We don’t know what God told Bro. Roberts in that prayer tower of his. It’s none of our business. Who are we to say what God told or didn’t tell someone else?”

This had an impact on me. It taught me to be slow in joining in when someone is being stoned. My initial response to Bro. Robertson in his latest pronouncement is to think, “Oh brother!” But I thought of Mary and Joseph. There were those who never believed them. Maybe the Spirit led them to not say a word to those of unbelief. Maybe they were supposed to keep on speaking which became condemnation to the unbelievers. Frankly, it’s none of my business as to how Father wants to do things. There will be those who will refuse to believe either way. If a great catastrophe falls on us they will say anyone could see that we were going to get hit sometime and Pat got lucky. The point is that you can’t think about what others are going to say if Father has told you to speak something. Say it and let the chips fall where they may.

I have my opinion about this current proclamation but I don’t know how he and Father relate or how Father communicates with him. If it doesn’t happen then Bro. Robertson needs to be equally vocal in saying he misheard and apologize. This would take greater faith. Be responsible for your words because we represent the King.

Wisdom

For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Proverbs 2:6-8a

Father provides all that we need. In fact, it is in a storehouse waiting for the time we need it. In context, we get this wisdom by seeking it whole heartedly. We get it by having a heart to apply truth. There is usually risk involved when doing the right thing. The temptation is to take the easy way out. If the only return we are concerned about is “righteousness and justice and equity and every good course” v. 9, then all will be well and we’ll walk wisely. May you have an awareness of the wisdom of God when you need it and the boldness to act on it.

Happy New Year!

May the days ahead be filled with peace and an unmistakable awareness of Father’s presence. May you have the confidence in knowing that you are in His hands doing His bidding. Release doubt and fear. Release worry and insecurity. He has called you and has equipped you for the task before you this year. Remember, what Father orders, He pays for.

But he who listens to me [wisdom] shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil. Proverbs 1:33

Like last year, I’m reading a Proverb a day for January. My son is learning to write so I will give him a verse out of each chapter to copy. This wasn’t it, though. He started with 1:7.

We viewed The Nativity the other night. Very good! I would recommend it. Babe got onto me for critiquing the Biblical inaccuracies after the movie. She thought it was a bad influence on the kids. I hope that I instill in them a constructively critical eye with a right attitude. I don’t get if they are going to the expense, why not get it right? What impressed most about this movie is that it brought to life Mary and Joseph. They lived in a real time with real stressors. Mary or Joseph didn’t have the angel to back them up when they faced the community and their extended family. They lived a life of ridicule. This probably extended to their other children. Remember how Jesus’ brothers ridiculed him before he went to Jerusalem? Mary and Joseph got a direct word from an angel. What about James and the other siblings? They had to grow up on the wrong side of tracks. “Hey James,” the other boys taunt “I here that your mom’s a slut.” Kids are so cruel you know. Not civil at all. I wander how many fights James got into for Jesus? Did Gabriel visit James in a dream at night? Probably not. He had to endure a faith without sight. But we know how the story ends with James. I always view everything from the template of developmental psychology. This would have set the kids back before they were even born. Except for one thing…faith. Faith begets faith. We all have to receive faith for our life regardless of the developmental set backs we contend with. These kids were no different.

Anyway, this story has got me thinking about what it would be like to be Joseph or Mary. What incredible faith. “Be it unto me according to your word.” And Joseph…what a man. The word that comes to my mind from times past is, “what a wuss.” He probably lost some esteem points from his friends. But the voice of the Father makes all the difference. We are called fools for Christ now days. We take the ridicule because we know the Truth. We know Jesus. May I live my life always resting on the Word of the Lord. This would be my hope for the new year.